| Location | Ossett West Yorkshire |
| Age | 27 years |
| Date of Birth | 11/1980 |
| Date of Death | 4/2008 |
| Visitors | 817 since 24/05/2008 |
| Creator |
karll andrew flanagan died on the 1st april 2008 and had been a window cleaner for the past 5 months. He had lived in ossett, west yorkshire since he was 14 months old. He leaves 2 brothers aged 28 and 17 who miss him badly. He also leaves behind his mum and step dad and his biological dad who he had just been getting to know again along with his fathers side of the family. Karll also leaves behind his beautiful daughter amber who is two and a half years old and his beloved dalmation. karll died in tragic circumstances by carbon dioxide poisoning in his own car and also taking about 6 pints of alcohol and 264mgs of amphetimines, not enough for an overdose but combined with alcohol and car emissions , it took his life within about half hour but we still have to have inquest yet , we arehoping for accidental death as he has tried taking overdose before along with alcohol but never had enough in system or not took any at all according to hospital, we think it was just a cry for help and just wanted to wake up in hospital with his family around him like last time. He was a heavy drinker and got depressed a lot as he couldnt be with his daughter and ex partner , he loved his daughter very much and wanted her for weekends but his living conditions wouldnt allow for this. also other factors etc, and debt which we helped out as much as we could but could only do so much. karll meant the world to me as all my sons do, and i cant accept that he is gone, i still cry every day , it comes when i least expect it and also when i look at his pictures, when i take his dog for a walk , i still have his ashes in the unopened box from the cremitorium and i havnt opened the bag from the hospital with the clothes he died in, if i do its like i have accepted it and i havnt yet, i dont know if i ever will.
Hi karll, sorry havnt been on here in a while, lifes been so busy but i will never forget you love, your daughter amber started infants full time last thursday 2nd september 2010, i wish her mum would have let me know as i thought it was the week after and i wanted to go and take a photo of her on her first day at school to put on here for you. iI will at least try and put one new one each year of her so she can see as well when she has grown up, if this site is still here. I am having her for the weekend this week, 11-13th as her mum is going to london to see we will rock you, i love having her although she tires me out now i am getting older and going through the change. Your brother nathan has left college and is going for lots of auditions down london and it is costing me a fortune in train fares, but hes also going for a job interview in harrods so he can live down there and be nearer to auditions , i hope he gets it though not looking forward to him moving down there. your brother chris has got himself a girlfriend who it seems he loves, i hope he does and then he can settle down finally, but i dont see much of him, in fact nearly a year, but nathan keeps me company along with amber when i have her at weekends., It wont be long until we all meet up again, i just have to keep strong and keep going until that day arrives that god promises in the bible, i know you know what i mean karll, by for now love, rest in peace my love, all my love from mum.
One Year On
One year on.
i still can't believe your gone.
Because this time last year,
we were laughing together, enjoying a beer.
i went home, and you did too.
i went to sleep and so did you.
now i am waiting for you to wake up Karll.
Time will never erase my last sight of you laying there.
i grit my teeth and hold back the tears because i refuse to grieve as i know it cant be long before the new system comes along, and i see you bouncing along, with your cheeky comical grin.
so i am stayin strong.
and in the truth i am staying put.
coz i am going nowhere until you wake up.
c u soon buddy.
Marc, your cousin and closest friend.
The day you were born
Today you would have been 28
today i never saw you coming through the gate,
The day you were born i loved you so
never realising one day ,you would decide to go.
I wish i could have read the state of your mind
so i could have helped, and stopped you leaving all your loved ones behind.
I love you karll, more than you could ever know
and you broke my heart when you decided to go.
Amber thinks your in the sky, she asks when your coming back down, and it makes me cry.
One day i will tell her what what God has in store
when sickness and death will be no more.
We will all meet again on on ressurection day
when all our tears and grief will be swept away,
but until then my love rest in peace and sleep tight
when you wake up i will be waiting , ready to hug you so tight.
goodnight , god bless, love mum and dad and hugs from amber and your 2 brothers. xxxx.
4 ur mum
Ask My Mum How She Is
================
My Mum she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before,
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mum how she is,
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie,
Because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mum How she is,
She'll say 'I'm alright'
If that's the truth, then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mum how she is,
She seems to cope so well,
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mum how she is,
'I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping'
For God's sake Mum, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine,
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven,
I cannot hug from here,
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold,
I'll say 'You're lucky to get in here, Mum,
With all the lies you told!'
Missing you
Thought i was getting better but im not im just going quietly downhill. Still got his phone number in my phone and his last text messages to me which i now know were begging for help. I've got to bring up our daughter alone now and i dont know how. im so angry and i don't know how to stop it. I can't believe how mad I am at him after all this time and i know i shouldnt be. How could he do this to us. Why did he leave me to explain to Amber where her dad is, to have to write her a fathers day card for a dead man. Why couldnt he just talk to us
Inquest
We got the verdict we hoped for today, usually people who commit suicide usually go to a secluded spot or hide themselves somwhere where they wouldnt be found, karll was hoping to be found but hopefully alive as it was a cry for help and probably hoped to be woken up in hospital with his family round him. i wont go in to all the details but the verdict of misadventure was a result we hoped for as it will show his daughter when she grows older that he didnt mean to do it and he didnt mean to leave her.
another weepy day.
Today, as every other day, i have had a secret cry, even though it comes when i least expect it , i try to hold it back when others are around, i need to be strong for my other 2 children and look as if i am coping, but really i am not, i wish i could go away and just disappear, but too many are relying on me, even the dog and cat. Today, i felt extra weepy and needed to smell my sons clothes, but his landlord had washed them all before giving them back, must have thought he was doing a favour, which was good of him but it took away his scent which i needed, then i thought about the clothes he died in which were still in the bag the mortuary gave me which had the hospital tag on, i couldnt bring myself to open it before but today i felt i needed to, and i really had a good loud cry on my bed as no-one was in, spot the dalmation joined me , karlls dog, and i gave him a good hug. Karlls socks were in his shoes with the smell of his feet and of course , dog hairs. I wish i could have him back with all his faults, i miss him so much.
I told my older son later that evening that i finally had opened the bag and i started crying again, he hugged me and told me he missed him too.
Missing You
Your missed by all of the family so much .. still think about you lots and it upsets us all but then we think about when you visited and good times to stop the tears You'l always be in out hearts and thoughts.
Amber is a beautiful daughter i will look after her well for you as i have been spendin more time with her and she seems to know me better.
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------------OO------ --------------- A CANDLE OF LOVE
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---------OOOOOO----- -------- JUST FOR YOU
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---------OOOOOO----- ------- SLEEPING WITH THE
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---------OOOOOO----- --- ANGELS LOVED AND MISSED
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---------OOOOOO----- -- BY ALL GOD BLESS
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You'l Never be forgotten ! Love Paul,Sharon,Chelsea,Paul,Kimberly and Bryan x x x x x x x x x x x xx x xx x x x x x xx
resurrection
Karll my precious, my beautiful boy,
You gave our lives so much wonderful joy,
But for you your life seemed ever so sad,
Even more so when you became a dad.
Life seemed so hard, even though you tried,
But then you gave in, thats when you died.
Life without you will be unbearably so,
I wish i could hold you and never let you go!
Your brothers miss you and are in so much pain,
But know that in the resurrection they will see you again.
To you it will seem though only a second has gone,
But until that day your memory will live on.
Not only in our hearts but your daughters too,
and when she grows up we will remind her of you.
We know you loved her and she loves you too,
even though your times spent together were only a few.
But theres a time coming soon when all those dead will arise,
From their memorial tombs they will open their eyes.
Not in heaven but here on earth,
A place they know,
The place of their birth.
Good night god bless karll my darling, i never got to say goodby , so until we meet again , adiou.
My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. I cannot begin to imagine your grief. I lost my darling husband in January and I know what you mean when the grief suddenly descends on you at an even greater pain than normal. It is almost a physical pain. However, to lose a child must be absolutley devastating. I am sure you are like me and have said many what if's and If only's. My children have been my stength as I am sure your other Son's will be too. Keep yourself busy. In a few months it will be a little easier and you will remember the good times. Every little thing you remember with fondness becomes so special.You wil still cry as I do most days but we and thousands like us will get through this. - Remember, you can cry because he has gone, or you can smile because he has lived. God bless xx
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